So this is my first post where I'm expressing my thoughts in words. Hope to do many more. So basically I just watched Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and I thought to myself.... he is almost every guy I know. I mean yeah, there are some guys who just don't want to be 'tied down'. Those that just wanna 'have fun'. In fact I think almost everyone thinks like that at some point or the other, whether you call it 'having fun' or 'exploring options'. Point is: I personally think guys are just as scared or even more so than we are.
They're scared of getting hurt. Well duh no one likes getting hurt so its natural to be wary when dating. But I when I say scared I mean real shaking-in -your-boots Fear. Most likely they we're hurt by a girl who was young and confused or just using them while waiting for 'the one' who still hasn't glanced at them twice even after 2 years. And then they vow never to feel like that again. So when they realise they are falling for a girl they literally run away like kids from the boogie man.
Me personally, I've been hurt (routine for everyone in this life) more than once, but given the opportunity (a guy who I think might be worth it) I would do it all again. By 'it' I mean fall for him, make adequate compromises without fully compromising myself as one must do and accept his flaws and forever hold my peace about them. I know that it might not work out. That I might end up hurt and crying and calling my best friend in Ireland (not cheap!) bawling and snivelling again. But at the end I know that pain will subside and I'll pick myself up again probably for another round. There have only been two main occasions so I still have quite a bit more fight in me. Some might say I'm being stupid. I say they are stupid. Look around you. Which success story hasn't been filled with tales of sorrow. This is Planet Earth honey. Here happy endings don't just happen. What's the point of loving someone if you're not going to love them fully. The other person will sniff it out and right there, only not everone realises its just you not wanting to get hurt. No no no, what they see is that they're about to get dumped. Then they start acting like that, then it seems to you you were right all along and things get real messy from there.
That breeds trust issues. Which in turn breeds fights like "you're just using me aren't you" or "is this going anywhere". Trust me on this: there's nothing uglier than one person feeling insecure in a relationship. Its one thing if its an insecure person another if they have a reason to be. Having said this I'm not saying fling yourself into the next relationship with gay abandon. Use your head too. Is the guy/girl even gonna be feeling the same way bout you. If not then just take it for what its is. I dunno... 'having fun' or whatever. Those kind of relationships are important too you know. I mean why not? Not everything has to be serious and you get to mess up without having serious repercussions (hopefully!).
Anyway fellas don't be a pussy. In fact I'm talking to people in general. If the other person is willing don't be apprehensive. The hesitation can cost you. If the you're not feeling it then let them know so they can decide if they van handle it or if they want out. Some people don't like to accept. Even after you've said '"I just want to have fun" they still act otherwise. I think they hear something else but yeah... that's another story. In fact no... if you've stated your case clearly and the person is still gunning for a relationship then run. I know some people shrug and say that's their business cuz they're are getting nookie but trust me that is exactly how they are sucking you into their mess. You don't want that so cut em loose instead of dragging yourself (and them) into trouble.
So yeah... just food for thought. This is just what I think, I'm not one of those people that thinks their thoughts are the Holy Grail so yeah if you disagree that's totally fine. After all we don't all have the same life experiences. Just what I was thinking after the movie. Wonder what I should watch next...
